Hello, and welcome to my new home for Bachelor Recaps!
We’ve hit Week 6 in Bachie’s quest for love, and the women are dwindling. We’re down to the Top 5, let’s see how this week panned out.
Bachie ‘All Stars’ grace our TV screens and we aren’t worthy
Channel 10 producers bring back Sam & Snez and Matty J & Laura to reinforce the premise of the show – that you actually need to pick someone, ANYONE – in order to avoid the garbage fire that was last year’s season.
Snez & Laura quiz the girls back at the mansion to pick one to come for dinner. The boys stay at the Bach pad to talk about feelings while playing FOOTY – to help assert manliness into a somewhat vulnerable situation. After this, we see them preparing dinner which, I’ll be honest I didn’t see anything come out on the table at dinner time so this is one whole big lie.
The girls pick Helena to come back to the house, which is an interesting (RE: Boring) choice but she is very pretty.
Emma gets a single date and it’s almost Choccy Bath 2.0
Chocolate is everywhere. It’s a very handsy date, but with an audience of one.
I just really feel bad for the poor chocolate lady these guys weren’t taking her craft seriously.
Abbie gets a one-on-one chat with Matt. Gushes over raspberries. Makes everyone angry
I don’t reeeeally know what else to say about this. There were two spots for alone time with Matt at the cocktail party. Sogand got one, Elly took the other. Abbie bullied Elly into submission to take her spot because she had some very important things to tell Matt.
Abbie proceeds to use her one on one time with Bachie to admire the new styling of the cheese platter.
I will say this, after several seasons, I am glad the cheese platter is getting the recognition it deserves. Much like Osher – it really helps bind the show. Cheese brings people together, you guys.
Sogand gets the boot
Our poor Persian Princess got too caught up in the Abbie drama she missed the Bachie Boat.
Helena gets a single date that is equal parts torture and ET vibes
Remember when you really like someone, and you snag a second date – so you invite them round to map out your 10 year plan together?
Yeah me either!
What the actual crap, producers. Poor Helena went into a spiral – homegirl doesn’t even know what she’s having for brekky tomorrow. Her instagram’s content calendar only goes up to October, how is she supposed to tell you when she’s ready to have kids?
After that they have a bath in front of a giant moon that was reminiscent of this:
The girls go on the most cooked group date to exist
This date had a lot of elements, but I’m totally here for it.
A painting class. Wine. A drag queen. Self-expression.
It’s like they tried to fit five date concepts into one. As usual, Abbie snags front and centre spot next to Matt and annoys everyone.
Chelsie has a moment with her new Drag Mother and it’s too pure for this timeslot
I am a number 1 fan when it comes to Chelsie. But she is not her own number one fan and it makes me sad. It also makes the Drag Queen sad.
So she pulls her aside for a pep-talk. The kind of pep-talk you give the friend you just met at 2am in the nightclub bathroom when she’s crying about her boy troubles (Shout out to Ashleigh, hope you’re O.K, girlfriend).
It’s so wholesome that she ends up winning the challenge and getting some alone time with Bachie! YAAAAAAS, KWEEN.
Bachie once again hears Abbie is bad news…proceeds to give Abbie a rose
Abbie is not living her life by the girl code and it’s annoying the other ladies in the house. Elly tells Matt she doesn’t think Abbie is here for the right reasons which has been thrown around so much this season. Just say she is a snake and be done with it!
It goes in one ear and out the other for Bachie, as he gives Abbie a rose and sends the little China girl, Kristen home.
And that’s it! We’re now down to five girls. Abbie, Chelsie, Elly, Emma and Helena are all in the running to win Bachie Matt’s heart. At this point it’s anyone’s game but I think we can all agree that hopefully it’s not Abbie.
Thanks for reading! See ya next week!